Not too long ago, we received this rather interesting message sent via e-mail. Unlike the letters we occasionally receive commenting on what we write about, this one appeared to ask us on some advice of a personal nature. It read…
There is this person that I see once in a while at a church-related group I belong. This person has a nice personalty that I’m attracted to. Although I am part of a domestic relationship, I feel that I am taking a strong liking toward this person. What should I do to surpass my feelings toward this person without jeopardizing my current relationship?
We don’t know the genders of the people addressed within the letter. However, be it between a man and woman, or as a pair of men or women, the notion is still the same. It seems that person “A” is taking a shine toward person “B”. Person “A” holds a desire with person “B” that doesn’t involve any love, romance, or anything of a sexual nature. However, person “A” keeps a liking toward person “B”. However, it’s assumed that person “B” doesn’t necessarily knows of person “A”’s real intentions, or perhaps person “B” isn’t necessarily interested in person “A” in the same way that person “A” holds.
This method of fondness is known as a “Squish”. It’s a second cousin to a “crush”–a feeling toward another person that may contain romantic purposes.
According to the website UrbanDictionary.com, a “squish” is of the equivalent of a “crush”, but explicitly lacking an interest in forming a romantic couple or having a sexual relationship with the person in question…A squish is an intense feeling of attraction, liking, appreciation, admiration for a person you urgently want to get to know better and become close with…
Generally speaking, this is a person that you want to be with because some element the person has, yet holds no interest in having a sexual relationship with. One may like a person because of their personality. It may be the same of a “BFF” (“Best Friend Forever”), or even a “Bromance”. (A pair of guys that are close or being brotherly in nature, but remain asexual.)
This stage of taking attraction toward another person begins at a very young age. Kids tend to make friends with little effort since they have yet to learn or develop many of their trials and tribulations one holds as an adult. Many kids find their friends through school, sport activities, or clubs or groups the kids in connected to. As they get older, that is where the term “crush” kicks in, and these kids become of age. It continues through middle school, high school, and even for the college bound. Folks in their 20’s make efforts for friendship as well. However, “crushes” may continue. But it’s quite possible to develop “squishes” during this stage of life.
As one become older, these same feeling progress, but not necessarily as strong as they were a near decade or two beforehand. Assuming that one is living within a local domestic domain in this post-modern universe, one may be involved in a romantic relationship, or perhaps had some kind of involvement of that nature. But squishes can develop. Women tend to have such feelings toward their “girlfriends”. Even men may have a liking toward their “best buds”. These guys can hang out through their associations at the gym, the golf course, the playing field, the office space, or even through spending quality time at their favorite watering hole tipping a few cold ones while watching the game on many TV screens that are all over the joint!
Squishes, like crushes, can work in one’s favor. However, unlike crushes where one is seeking a deeper relationship toward another, squishes can be a bit problematic. Sure, one can go to the other to say something like “wanna hang out?”, but sometimes the other may not have the time, ability, nor interest to “hang out” with the other. Some people feel that they don’t want nor need another friend. A few can’t understand why somebody would ever want to hold an interest toward themselves unless some notion might be on the horizon, although this was never intended nor implied as evil or wrong.
There’s a quote posted on this topic of human attraction that’s been attributed to Thrya Samter Winslow that states “Platonic love is love from the neck up.” Yes, it’s quite possible to love somebody, but not to be in love with that same person! It’s a form of emotional feelings that people tend to receive. It all depends on the people involved, the realm that the people are set in, and how the people react.
So to answer anonymous’ quest on what to do, we will give our half heeded advice. Try to talk to the other person while you at your group event. Suggest in passing that you would like to meet this person for lunch, a cup of joe, or maybe for a “real” drink that may be alcoholic. If the person holds a mutual interest, swap business cards, phone numbers, or whatever way one would communicate with another. Once that is done, then one will find out of person “B” is really cracked up to what person “A” suspects. However, if person “B” isn’t interested toward meeting with person “A” later for a bite to eat, etc. then one would have to accept that outcome. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be and would have saved a lot of time, effort, money, and a load of emotional heartache.
Although we here at Accessibly Live Off-Line do appreciate your input, we don’t necessarily dispense advice on relationships or anything of that nature. This writer is answering this question based upon personal experience as yours truly recently encountered as a form of a “squish” episode. But that’s another story as that stands since it doesn’t hold the same sectionalism comparing to the recent “coming out” of the Hollywood casting couch!
NEWS AND REVIEWS
Making its world premier at Hollywood’s Lounge Theatre is Marja-Lewis Ryan’s BUGABOO & THE SILENT ONE, a saga of two woman behind bars and the consequences they must face living on the inside, both physically and mentally.
The place is the Henderson County Jail, located somewhere in West Virginia. Within the woman’s prison block is Margaret (Heidi Sulzman), who holds the nickname of “Bugaboo”, a handle she earned since her excessive talking would make the bugs fly into her mouth without her knowing it. She’s doing a stretch of twenty-five-to-life due to a drug charge based upon the “three strikes” rule. The two things she has to keep herself going is a chalk set giving to her by one of her many cousins, and a dogeared bible to assist her to find Jesus. She uses the chalk to make tic-tac-toe boards to play endless games of solitaire. As she awaits a transfer to a more permanent home (a state prison), she receives a cell mate, (Jacqueline Toboni), whose fate awaits her for her crime. It didn’t involve drugs per se, but was enough for her to do a long stretch. Bugaboo makes her cell mate welcomed, although she talks about anything she could, from the brood of kids she mothered, to the man she was involved with, and how she got caught. Before long, there is some emotional bonding that develops, since these two will be locked up for quite a while.
This one act play, written and directed by Marja-Lewis Ryan, isn’t another “woman in prison” story that’s been depicted as something as violent (women on the rampage), or as erotic. (Lesbian Jail!) It’s really a story of two individuals that may have done some kind of crime, but are in reality good souls. Heide Sulzman as Bugaboo plays her part as a woman that has a lot of spunk, always going emotionally and knows what she only needs to know in spite of never having much of a formal education. Jacqueline Toboni as the silent one is meek and mild, although she’s emotionally unstable. These two personalities form an emotional bonding that can become quite rare in the free world. But they don’t live in such a universe, and may never see the freedom they were once accustomed to.
As to the visuals on stage, Skye Stewart-Short provides the costuming, mostly consisting of drab beige prison garb, and Michael Fitzgerald presents the set design of a large prison cell consisting of bedding, a combo sink and toilet, a shelf or two where a prisoner can hold all of their worldly possessions, and not much else! (After all, it’s a prison cell!)
Also appearing in Michelle Gardner as Peterson, the prison latchkey guard. She is Bugaboo’s only link to the outside world, providing if Peterson would tell her anything beyond keeping the place in order!
This play is an ideal case study on the notion of building onto a friendship in spite of the circumstances depicted. And will there a happy ending to this tale? Well, it’s a prison story. Is that concept a hint?
BUGABOO & THE SILENT ONE, performs at The Lounge Theatre, 6201 Santa Monica Blvd. at El Centro Avenue, one block east of Vine Street, Hollywood, until January 27th. Showtimes are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights at 8:00 PM, and Sundays at 2:00 and 7:00 PM. For more information and for ticket reservations, call (800) 838-3006, or online at http://Batso.BrownPaperTickets.com
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ACCESSIBLY LIVE OFF-LINE (C) 2018 Linear Cycle Productions. All rights reserved. The views and opinions are those of the writers, and not necessarily of the staff and management. ‘Nuff said!